Official Incident Archive

     

A Mirror Kingdom incident involving beauty comparison, questionable disguise strategy, fruit-based threat delivery, and insufficient vegetable intervention.

Musical Documentation

This incident (music) is available on several platforms.

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Supporting visual record from the archive

Record 1 / 3

Don't Feed Snow White an Apple

Affected citizens

Record 1 / 5

Citizen Record

The Mirror

Citizen File

Incident Timeline: Escalation Chronology

Phase 1

Mirror Ranking Disclosure
The Mirror provided an accurate but emotionally destabilizing beauty ranking response.

Phase 2

Royal Disguise Deployment
Queen Belladonna attempted a suspicious transformation strategy involving fake wrinkles, dramatic fog, and grocery-style fruit sampling.

Phase 3

Apple Delivery Incident
Blanche was offered unsafe fruit despite multiple available soup and broccoli alternatives.

Phase 4

Prince Protocol Concern
Subsequent rescue customs raised questions regarding consent, pulse-checking, and royal emergency training.

Public Safety Recommendations

  • Do not accept fruit from suspiciously theatrical strangers.
  • Mirror-based ranking systems should include emotional aftercare.
  • Vegetable alternatives are strongly recommended during royal insecurity incidents.

Involved districts

Record 1 / 1

District Record

The Mirror Kingdom

District File

Lyrics

Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Why’s your mirror always yelling from the wall? “YOU ARE NOT THE PRETTIEST!” — kinda rude of all Now you’re speed-walking through the castle down the hall Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh You got seven tiny miners in a wooden shack One of them is sleepy, one just screams at snacks One keeps washing diamonds in a little leather cap Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh And before that queen gets really petty Don’t feed Snow White an apple Feed her soup And before she falls asleep all sweaty Don’t feed Snow White an apple Feed her soup Feed her soup (broccoli) Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Broccoli Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Broccoli That old disguise is not convincing in the least You got fake wrinkles and a cape from Party Beast You whisper “Try a sample!” like a haunted grocery priest Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Your evil plan depends on fruit and dramatic fog You cackle while emerging from a spooky hollow log Then trip upon a squirrel and get bitten by a hog Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh And before that queen gets really petty Don’t feed Snow White an apple Feed her soup And before she naps inside a coffin Don’t feed Snow White an apple Feed her soup (Somebody hide the fruit bowl, slurp-slurp) Someone feed Snow White some broccoli Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Someone feed Snow White some broccoli Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp Vegetable Cauli-flower-flower-flower Vegetable Cauli-flower-flower-flower And before that prince starts kissing strangers Maybe check her pulse first, maybe? Maybe, dude? Someone feed Snow White some broccoli Why’s your mirror always yelling from the wall? That kingdom needs a therapist much more than royal balls